


I Still Hear Him

by Rshinystars



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, M/M, Memories, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Past, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Recovery, Romance, Sad, The others are really minor, this started out as just laying down thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 08:46:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12884265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rshinystars/pseuds/Rshinystars
Summary: “A promise that I will love you even when I’m gone. A promise that I will be there no matter what happens. A promise that I will never leave you. A promise that I had always wanted to marry you—my original intention. And a promise that you will always be with me.I had never felt more alive than when I was with you.I’ll be there with you, as frightened as you, to help us survive being alive.I love you.”





	I Still Hear Him

**Author's Note:**

> It's set as if Noctis managed to defeat Ardyn before anything truly terrible happened. In which Ravus never tried on the ring of the Lucii but lost his arm in another way.  
> It'll make sense eventually, I hope.

Tenebrae is solemn. The peacefulness usually acquainted with this beautiful country now shrouded in the tears of the people and the pain of loss. It had happened nearly a month ago, but the kingdom has yet to recover as Noctis walks into the palace to visit and to give his condolences.

Luna greets him at the door. A smile that is so filled with sorrow it doesn’t fit her face. The amount of force put behind it looks so painful, Noctis almost tells her to stop—but he can’t. That isn’t what she wants to hear right now.

“Hello,” sounds so empty as it leaves her lips. The hollowness in her face is more prominent as he draws near. Her face, as pale as the kingdom walls, yet even they look surprisingly dull in the dim lit kingdom. She seats him at the table—tea brought almost immediately after by Maria. Noctis goes to say thank you, but for some reason his voice is caught in his throat and it comes out as a low hum. He feels pathetic—he wants to be strong for her, but all of a sudden he’s lost. Words fail him and he’s simply stuck drinking his warm tea in this somber air.

It’s supposed to be spring, but it feels barren and empty like winter.

Like Tenebrae and their hearts.

“Luna,” Noctis begins finally regathering himself enough to maintain composure.

She stops him before he can continue, “Please,” she sighs heavily into her cup, “Please, not yet.” Noctis bites his lip. _Not yet? Then when?_ He doesn’t want to think about this conversation anymore. He doesn’t want to think about this loss anymore. His eyes focus on the sylleblossoms resting in between them, untouched, undisturbed, the only thing to seem to retain its color.

“How is your father now that you’ve taken over the mantle?” Luna asks with a desperate plea in her eyes to drop the topic from before.

Noctis goes along with it as he had nothing else he wanted to say but _that_ , “He’s well, for where he is. The burden is off his shoulders, but he’s still very active in the kingdom—helps me a lot.”

She laughs, a low, melancholy laugh that sounds almost like she will burst into tears, “I wouldn’t expect any less of him.”

“No,” he doesn’t look at her, “No, I suppose you wouldn’t. I—” he swallows hard. “I’m sorry about—”

Luna shakes her head, waves Maria over signifying that they were done with their tea and stands up abruptly. “Shall we take a walk? I think we’ll both feel more refreshed.”

Noctis finds words caught in his throat once more—his mind temporarily drawing a blank as she abruptly cuts him off. A walk is the last thing he needs. He doesn’t want to be here any longer than he has too. Coping at home was already hard, but being in the very place _he_ used to live, being in the very place he began to fade away pains him. The raven head king doesn’t want to recall every happy memory he once had when _he_ is no longer by his side to reminisce with him.

But he keeps his mouth shut, and with a tight lipped nod, he follows her to the field. A tense silence as her awareness of his unwillingness to join radiates from him just as his happiness once had. The intensity of this dullness—he realizes now—comes more from his temperament than the environment.

Luna takes in a deep breath as she envelopes herself in the peaceful nature of the field. Noctis tries and tries to ease himself, but the discomfort that is boiling in the pit of his chest makes him want to keel over in agonizing pain.

 _This is too much. I didn’t come for this. Let me go home_.

He suddenly regrets making the trip here so soon. It’s been a month, but this month has been hell and longer than it should be. Yet, the torture that is a future without _him_ is so painfully dreadful that he just wants to fade from existence himself. To reunite with _him_ just seems so unbelievably inviting.

“Noctis?” Luna calls out—concern laced throughout her pale features. An expression on her face that is pleading for him— _please don’t leave me too_. Noctis snaps himself out of thoughts. That’s what he needs to do right now. Not to focus on what he feels or what he thinks, just focus on the person in front of him. Focus on her and her needs, not his own because that will do him no good.

 _No good, no good, no good_.

 _There’s no good without_ him.

“Yeah?” the word comes out strangled and desperate—as if he’s begging her to drag him out of this abnormally monotonous world.

“You’re okay,” she says bringing him into a hug. “You’ll be okay.”

 _No, no, no_.

A panic attack, he realizes. Recently, they’ve come more often. The leftover remnants of all the events that went down whilst resolving the issue of the Scourge and Ardyn. But, back then, he had _him_ by his side. Now he doesn’t. Now he’s alone and they’re worse than ever.

“ _Noctis_ ,” a familiar voice says behind him. A smooth, baritone voice that could soothe him. “ _Noctis._ ”

The king turns around to face the owner, a short choked gasp breaks from him. Tears begin to stream down his face, “I miss you…”

With his drawn in features from the effects of the MagiTek arm, torture, everything, he stands before him with such a loving expression it breaks Noctis even further. “ _You’ll be all right. I will be here_.”

Noctis sobs, “But you’re not here.”

A faded somber smile, “ _I am_.”

Noctis must have blacked out at some point as he finds himself jolting awake. A room that looked prepared for his possible long term stay opens in front of him. Lunafreya stands by the window with a distant gaze barely registering the panting breaths of Noctis beside her.

“You’re awake,” she murmurs with barely a realization. “Oh, you’re awake!”

Noctis places a hand on his forehead. Seeing such a disheveled Lunafreya leaves him realizing he’s not the only one suffering—but gods does it hurt.

Gently, she takes his cheek in her hand, a tear streaming down her face, “What happened? You just—”

She stops herself as if remembering a cruel detail. The one where her brother began to fade from their sight. The one Noctis loathes to recall. The conversation Noctis tries to forget.

“I—” Noctis shivers. “My apologies,” he says instead of giving an explanation. But Luna can draw enough from that. She understands. She’s dealing with it too.

“You haven’t made peace,” she states it so plainly that Noctis bites his lip a little too hard to stop himself from snapping at her.

_Obviously._

“No,” Noctis replies instead. “I can’t. I… I can’t.”

“You can.”

The king, hating how weak this has rendered him, sits up further, “I came here for one thing…”

He didn’t want to keep up this conversation. No—he wants to go home. He wants to be in his own solitude and grieve. Let him grieve, that’s all he wishes. No—no one seemed to care nearly as much him. No one understands what he’s feeling. No one—

“I know how much he meant to you,” Lunafreya breaks his concentration. A knowing look crosses her face as she observes him. “I know that you two were—”

“ _Stop_ ,” it comes out much harsher than he intended, but the memories that flashed through his head as she began to speak of their relationship were even more cruel. The king had to catch his breath—had to stop his wandering mind before anything else. He looks at Luna an apologetic expression on his face, but he hated the look of pity on her face more than anything.

“You _loved_ him,” she continues despite his request.

“And so did you.”

“But he was my brother,” she began with a sigh, “You were more.”

“No,” Noctis breathes. “I wasn’t.”

Luna looks at him carefully, “I suppose he never had the chance.”

The world seems so empty.

Noctis stayed there, though he didn’t want to. Luna insisted, but he knew it was because even though her kingdom was so full of servants, without _him_ it felt very lonely. Though the high prince of Tenebrae was far from a ball full of energy, his presence was enough to fill up a room. It was enough to help ground Luna and its people.

Now that foundation is gone and Tenebrae is crumbling in its grief. The funeral was a while ago, Noctis showed up, but he couldn’t show his face to the public. Because if Tenebrae was crumbling, he was already shattered.

“You two were in love,” Luna states again. “He loved you dearly.”

_Why does she keep bringing it up?_

He stares “Maybe.”

Luna shakes her head with a dour smile, “I don’t know why you both tried to hide it. I don’t understand—the people don’t understand.”

“The people don’t have to understand what they don’t know,” Noctis replies dryly. “They won’t have to know now anyway.”

“They would have been happy.”

“I would have been happy,” he admitted quietly. “But he insisted—I don’t know his reasonings, Luna. I never got to understand him before—”

 _Before he died_ , hung on the tip of this tongue. It didn’t need to be said. The gravity of the words still hang in the air seemingly forcing the air out of him. Noctis tries to breathe, but fails to subtly regain himself. Luna is no better, her expression she tried to uphold, finally crumbles and her true sorrow melts through her. She releases a sob. Noctis should comfort her—he should try to do anything, but he doesn’t. He sits there and watches because he can’t comfort her when he shares that grief.

Instead he says, “I wonder if he’s just as sad.”

—

Noctis visits his grave in silence. Lunafreya probably looks for him, but he makes no attempt in making his current location known. Right beside his mother— _he_ lays there probably content now. No longer does he have to fight off the after effects of the MagiTek arm. No longer does he have to pretend to be strong. No longer does he have to pretend he’s not sick.

Maybe if he had told them sooner, they could have done something. If _he_ had told them the MagiTek arm was killing him, they could have replaced it. Yet, then, the poison was already deep within his system eating away at him.

Noctis curses at himself, clenching his eyes shut, “I’m sorry for not realizing it sooner.”

“ _There’s no reason to apologize_ ,” _his_ voice brings a comforting chill down his spine. “ _It is not you who is at fault_.”

The raven head king doesn’t look up—doesn’t open up his eyes, “I was with you. I should have—I should have known. I was _always_ with you.”

“ _And you still are_.”

Noctis looks up, but the space before him is empty save for the grave before him.

 _Ravus Nox Fleuret_.

—

Noctis hadn’t been able to say his name—let alone hear it—since his death. It brought back to many memories of when he was here. But he hears his voice all the time, whispering how he’ll be okay. Telling Noctis to move forward—to be strong for him—but the newly crowned king feels empty without him. Visiting the grave was supposed to give him some source of comfort, yet, he found himself broken as soon as his voice called out to him.

He’s irreparable. And the first time _his_ name escaped his lips was when he finally had the courage to look up and look at the name on the grave. Gods, he wanted it all to be a dream, but there it was before him.

Noctis returns later that day as Luna and him sit across from each other waiting for their drinks. Noctis had joked that he needed something stronger—Luna sent Maria out to get the beverages and he had never felt so drunk with one cup.

“How are you?” Noctis asks when the fourth migraine of the week begins to fade. He knows he shouldn’t be drinking like this, but if Luna is doing it, he figures he might as well indulge—especially if he has to stay here any longer. A week was not what he had in mind.

Luna smiles, a little brighter than before, “Better. Thank you for staying Noctis. I know you didn’t want to…”

Noctis doesn’t comment on it and simply says, “That’s good.”

“How are you?” she asks in turn and it takes a little longer for Noctis to concoct a response. If he were to be honest, he knows that would just ruin Luna’s mood but he didn’t know if he had it in him to make up something.

Instead, he settles on a simple “fine” and changes the topic before she could ask what he truly feels.

There is no protest from her. He supposes she doesn’t want to push it too far. They’re both suffering—they both need their space from that for right now.

The kingdom looks brighter only slightly. It’s not nearly as depressing as before and more people are now outside of their houses handling tasks. The pain that has taken a home in his chest has eased, but it continues to push him to the brink of breaking.

Thanks towards the King of Lucis leaves him in confusion. Why would they thank him? Simply for showing up? It doesn’t make sense. He couldn’t save him. It’s partially his fault that Ravus is gone.

“Ravus wouldn’t blame you,” Luna clasps his hands in hers with that peaceful expression. One that was practiced when she healed people. “He wouldn’t blame anyone.”

It was the first time he had heard Luna say his name since he had arrived. For some reason, it made the hole in his chest seem much larger.

Noctis doesn’t argue the point. He doesn’t bring up the fact that Ravus had told him the same thing when he went to his grave.

The king must have seemed as if he wasn’t going to return as Ignis, Prompto, and Gladio came to check in on Noctis on the request of his father. They must have feared that he hadn’t gone to Tenebrae as he wasn’t supposed to stay longer than maybe two days. It was a fear that the grief Noctis was experiencing was much greater than he was letting on.

“We were worried,” Prompto claimed with a sigh relief. “Ya know, you should have called and let us know you were staying longer.”

“It wasn’t my intention,” Noctis admits. _Luna needed me_ was left out for her sake.

Ignis takes a sip of his tea, “How are you? Do you feel any better?”

_Have you made peace with his death yet?_

“I don’t know,” he feels younger than he is and he _hates_ it. No longer is he a child, but this grief has diminished him to this point.

“You seem lesser than before,” Gladio points out bluntly.

 _Where is the king_?

“I’m still here,” it’s more to himself than anyone. But his closest friends hear him and Prompto places a careful hand on his shoulder.

“We know,” Prompto gives a crooked smile. “We just want you happy again. Ravus—”

Ignis cuts him off as soon as the name escapes his lips, “Do you still need time?”

Prompto immediately recognizes his mistake and apologizes.

Noctis waves it off. He’s gotten used to the name again. It doesn’t stop him from hearing his voice, but it doesn’t widen the hole in his chest any longer. Simply, it’s a reminder that the hole does exist. It’s a reminder of what he isn’t. He is lesser than before.

He’s lesser without him.

“I think I might.”

But he doesn’t know where he wants to spend this time he needs.

“You’re needed back in the castle—eventually anyway,” Ignis says.

“I know,” Noctis says quickly.

Prompto cuts in, trying to save his friend, “But take your time! Get yourself together Noct.”

“Thanks,” his voice is quieter than he remembers. The others notice, but they try not to comment on it.

“Well, hello,” the Oracle calls out as she enters the room. “Forgive me, I was in a meeting.”

Ignis bows his head slightly, “No, of course. You’re find Lady Lunafreya.”

She smiles softly and Noctis has seen that expression too much to appreciate it now. He gives his own smile when she looks at him, but it’s so obvious to her that it’s force that he notices her expression falter.

“How are you, Lady Lunafreya?” Prompto asks glancing between the two.

The princess faintly touches a lone Sylleblossom, her gaze seems far away, “Well, I’m holding my own. It’s been better with King Noctis here.” She glances at him briefly, but Noctis makes no attempt to reaffirm her comment. “I appreciate you all allowing him some time to visit.”

“It’s a pleasure,” Ignis stands slowly. “We’re sorry about your loss.”

“Thank you.”

The mood changes as Prompto starts up another conversation. Something lighter, something they all need in such a gloomy time. Yet, the king’s head is far from the conversation. All he sees is Ravus standing before him, a rare smile on his face.

“ _You will be okay._ ”

—

_“Ravus,” Noctis says practically running through the door. The high prince of Tenebrae looks up quickly, confusion and concern written on his face. Rarely does Noctis bust in like this and—Noctis supposes—he should have been more cautious with his arrival._

_“Yes?” Ravus replies cautiously, “Is everything all right?”_

_The raven head prince sighs softly, “I guess.”_

_An eyebrow raises prompting him to elaborate. Noctis takes a seat across from the prince and carefully glances over the papers in front of him._

_“You seem busy,” Noctis remarks instead of answering the unspoken question._

_There’s a slight pause before Ravus moves the papers slightly away from Noctis, “I suppose.” He places his pen down, “What is bothering you?”_

_The younger man sighs, “You know, working on the recovery effort for Niflheim is hard.”_

_Ravus props his head up on his hand looking at Noctis curiously. Noctis tries to ignore his piercing stare—those mismatched eyes peering through him. He wasn’t sure if he should ask this question or just let it be._

_“I certainly agree,” Ravus answers instead. “Especially after everything that has happened, I would understand why it would be difficult to want to help the country recover.” He pauses slightly as he peers at one of his papers asking for extra supplies to be sent to Niflheim, “But we must remember that it isn’t the people at fault.”_

_“You know,” Noctis glances at him briefly. “I wondered for a while if there were even anymore humans there considering we only really fought MagiTek soldiers.”_

_Ravus sits back in his chair, glancing out the windows of his office. Noctis stares at the contemplative expression that takes over his face. He was beautiful, Noctis has to admit._

_Perhaps, too much for him._

_“I can see why,” Ravus finally responds. “But there are people there—people who need our help.”_

_“I know,” Noctis takes Ravus’s flesh hand in his own. Slowly, he rubs his thumb over Ravus’s knuckles staring at it with a soft gaze. The prince of Tenebrae stares at Noctis with confusion, but slowly relents and releases a soft sigh._

_“Noctis,” he says in a softer voice than Noctis has heard in awhile. One that’s reserved for him. One that makes Noctis feel comfortable. “What is it? What is bothering you?”_

_Another heavy sigh escapes Noctis as he begins slowly, “I was just wondering… You know we’ve come far, it’s been a few years since the whole thing has happened and I’ll be taking the throne soon.” Ravus doesn’t respond, but stares at him requesting him to continue, “When I’m king… what will happen with us?”_

_Ravus seems to understand. Realization crosses his face, but he doesn’t make any comment on it. He takes Noctis’s hand in his own and stares at it for awhile. Noctis feels slightly embarrassed for asking the question when Ravus didn’t seem worried about it at all. Maybe there were too many things on his mind to make him be concerned over this. It made sense with the recovery efforts of both Tenebrae and Niflheim under his and Luna’s belt along with assisting Lucis when needed. And while Lucis was sharing that duty as well, Lucis could only help Tenebrae so much._

_But once Noctis takes over as king, will he even be able to see Ravus outside of diplomatic reasons? Their relationship won’t be the same—whatever they are._

_“Is that what you’ve been concerned about?” the tone isn’t meant to be condescending, but Noctis flinches anyway. “Noctis,” Ravus tries to call him back. “Noctis—”_

_“Do you think we should continue?” Noctis mumbles. “Or should we just end it?”_

_Ravus doesn’t reply the way Noctis wants him to. Instead he poses another question, “What do you want, Noctis?”_

_“This shouldn’t just be my decision,” the young prince protests as he meets Ravus’s eyes._

_“No,” Ravus stands up and walks to Noctis’s side, “but I want to know what you’re thinking. For you to bring this up… It makes me wonder.”_

_Carefully, Noctis pulls Ravus closer to him. Ravus makes no efforts to pull away, he simply brings Noctis closer, closing the gap between them. A soft sigh escapes his lips, as he peers at Noctis patiently._

_“I was just… thinking,” the reply is muffled and short as he buries his face in Ravus’s chest._

_“What caused you to think that?” Ravus asks once again.  “Talk to me Noctis. I can’t understand you if you don’t.”_

_Noctis pulls back a little, “Think about it. We’ll both be too busy, and if we—”_

_Ravus looks with confusion, “Do you really think there will be no future for us once you become king?” Noctis simply shrugs. “I don’t know what made that cross your mind, but I don’t see how that’s a limit for us. You worry too much.”_

_Slowly, wraps his arms tighter around Ravus’s waist, “...I’m worried because no one knows about us. No one save maybe… Prompto, Ignis, and Gladiolus. That’s why I’m worried, Ravus! How will they react to us?”_

_The said prince’s grip slackens, and Noctis begins to wonder if he said something wrong. Perhaps he was being too bold to speak his mind like that. Maybe it was a mistake to voice that concern—was he the only one concerned for this?_

_“I see,” Ravus’s voice comes distantly. A chill goes down his spine as those words seem so eerily familiar. A time near their beginning. A time where he seemed just as distant as he does now. Gently, he pulls away from Noctis, but he doesn’t want the embrace to end. He doesn’t fight it, he let’s it happen and allow Ravus to tilt his chin upwards to look him straight in the eyes. “I didn’t realize you were so concerned over that.”_

_“Maybe I’m paranoid—”_

_“You have every right to be concerned, I’m sorry that I wasn’t aware of your concerns,” those eyes stare into Noctis’s with each word and it makes him want to melt. Ravus slowly brings him into a kiss, soft and deep. Pulling away only slightly to continue speaking, “I suppose we should start with your father then?”_

_Noctis simply kisses him back, “I love you.”_

_“I won’t ever leave you, my prince.”_

He supposes he said those words before he found out about his condition.

Noctis stares at the picture. Ravus and him, together, holding hands. The love in Ravus’s eyes as he looks down at Noctis makes his heart jump a little. _Oh,_ how he misses him. There’s a knock on Nocits’s door, and the prince puts the photo away in his wallet before answering.

“Yes? Who is it?” Noctis calls finding his gaze shifting towards the door.

“Lunafreya,” the voice replies.

“Come in.”

Lunafreya slowly opens the door and peaks in. A small smile crosses her face when she sees Noctis sitting on his bed.

“What were you thinking about?” she asks softly as she nears him.

Noctis shrugs slightly, a habit he knows he has to get out of now that he is king, “Just… better times, I suppose.”

She doesn’t need any more explaining than that as she gives him a small nod of understanding. He draws his attention out the window to see Tenebrae. It’s changed. No longer is it as dull and grey as when he first came here. The people, though not yet at their full fervor, are recovering smoothly. Noctis wishes he could recover so soon.  Why is it taking him so long to recover?

It takes a moment for Noctis to realize that Luna hadn’t moved any further into his room beyond closing the door. He looks at her curiously noting that she too is looking out the window, Noctis looks at the picture once more.

“The people seem better,” Noctis mumbles.

“Yes,” she replies slowly. “Yes, that is good.”

There was a hesitance in her reply that Noctis knew would not be good to point out. She thought the same as him. _How can the people move on, yet they cannot_? It seems like a such a selfish question, but terribly valid.

—

_“It went well with my father,” Noctis murmurs as he stares at the ceiling of Ravus’s office. He’s found more time to come now that his father is aware of their relationship. Ravus doesn’t look up from the papers he’s signing and simply hums._

_“What?” the prince asks. “Why don’t you seem happy?”_

_“Do I seem unhappy?” he still doesn’t look up. Instead, it appears as if he’s trying to occupy himself more with the papers in front of him than his lover in front of him._

_Noctis glares at him, “Yes,” he unintentionally snaps, “That’s what I said.”_

_“Why?”_

_A groan escapes his lips as he knows Ravus is trying to push him away. He knows Ravus doesn’t want to be bothered right now, but Noctis doesn’t want to avoid this. Things were going so well for them. Noctis’s father is aware of them. His best friends are. Now, it was just Ravus’s turn to tell Luna._

_“I don’t know why, that’s what I’m trying to figure out,” Noctis grows impatient. Ravus glances up at him._

_“Why do I seem unhappy to you?” he asks again. “I’m not unhappy.”_

_There’s a strong urge to just sigh and drop the subject when Ravus gets like this. It’s hard to not get into an argument, but to argue over something so petty is not what Noctis wants._

_“I don’t know,” the prince shrugs. “You just seem more involved with your work than usual.”_

_“Ah,” Ravus says. “Forgive me if I’m making you feel as if I don’t want you here Noct, I do.” A blush crosses Noctis’s face as Ravus suggests Noctis’s subconscious selfishness to have him all to himself. “It’s just...I want to get things done before long…”_

_Noctis sits up a little, “Is there something important happening? Are you doing something for Niflheim?” Had he missed something?_

_“Well, I suppose I always am at this point,” Ravus admits clicking his pen several times. “I’ve been able to leave the efforts of Tenebrae to Lunafreya now that she is feeling better again.”_

_Noctis straightens to peer over at the papers on Ravus’s desk. Nothing appears to be urgent. Nothing has a big red deadline marked on it within the coming days, so why is Ravus in such a rush?_

_“Are you all right?” Ravus questions noticing Noctis’s strain to look at his work._

_Noctis blushes slightly in embarrassment, “Ah, sorry, I just wanted to see…”_

_Ravus gives a small smile. Even though he smiles more these days than when they first started dating, it’s still refreshing, “You can always come closer. You don’t have to sit across from me all the time.”_

_The prince smiles and walks towards Ravus._

_—_

The papers in front him didn’t have deadline written on them, but they did have one implicitly. Noctis’s just realized too late what the deadline was. He never got a good look at the papers Ravus was so keen on observing. He never got a good look at any of the papers Ravus meticulously worked on during some nights after he assumed Noctis had gone to bed.

But he should have assumed something when the coughing started. When every sign possible started, but Ravus was impossibly smooth and knew how to get his way with Noctis.

And no matter how much he loves the man, it will never end Noctis’s guilt.

—

_At first, Noctis had found it only slightly amusing when Ravus’s voice kept going in-and-out, but only because he thought it had resulted from a heated debate with the council. It became clear that it was more than that when Ravus seemed less aware than usual. When the constant clearing of his throat turned into a terrible cough. Ravus looks weaker, and it isn’t just Noctis who notices it._

_“Ravus?” Noctis calls out quietly. Ravus glances up only briefly before his eyes flicker back down to the papers in front of him. “Are you feeling okay?”_

_“Yes,” Ravus clears his throat. “No need to worry about me.”_

_“I am,” Noctis says firmly. “Are you sick?”_

_An uncharacteristic shrug comes as a response. Noctis furrows his brow, “Luna is concerned too… She said that you just shrug her off like that when she asks. Something is wrong, right?”_

_“Truly, I’m fine, Noct,” Ravus avoids eye contact. “Do not worry about—”_

_“I’m sick of your secrets, Ravus,” Noctis nearly shouts. “It’s always like this. You tell me not to worry about something, but there is something obviously wrong.  Tell me—”_

_“If you can’t handle the fact that I don’t desire to tell you everything going on in my mind, then maybe you should go,” Ravus bites back. Cold and distant, Ravus nearly glares at Noctis. The prince shrinks a little. Ravus never spoke to him like that, not since everything happened. But the look in his eyes hold so much frustration and anger, that Noctis knows that it’s not his place to speak on it._

_Slowly, he backs up, “Sorry. Sorry for overstepping…”_

_Ravus sighs and runs a hand through his hair. For a moment, Noctis sees weakness in Ravus. For a moment, those walls that Ravus had been slowly building up around him to prevent everyone from seeing what’s wrong, crack and he’s more transparent in those few seconds than he has been in months._

_Yet, quickly those walls are replaced, the coldness in Ravus’s eyes replace themselves and he speaks again, a fair distance now put between them, “I’ll speak to you later then.”_

_Noctis ushers himself out of the room._

Looking back on it, he shouldn’t have left him. He should’ve stayed, let Ravus get mad at him, but be there to care for him. He should’ve stayed to prevent what happened to Ravus. There isn’t a moment Noctis doesn’t go without regretting his decision, yet, he can’t change anything now. When now, it isn’t just a travel that’s separating them, but a royal grave that prevents them from meeting again, Noctis loathes his immaturity.

Noctis runs his fingers across Ravus’s desk. A thin layer of dust has made its way onto the desk. If Ravus was here, he’d freak. But now, no one has the guts to enter his office. No one wants to touch anything in his office, it brings back too many memories of their former prince. Noctis opens up the curtains to peer out into the beautiful land of Tenebrae. The room brightens, but it still holds the same dullness as when Ravus left.

_—_

_Noctis visits Ravus again four months later, but those four months has strained both of them. The young prince constantly mulls in his head how to confront Ravus. In his mind though, it’s not his fault that Ravus pushed him away. He shouldn’t be feeling sorry for this, yet, there’s a painful guilt that’s eating at him._

_Lunafreya greets him instead of Ravus, “Noctis, goodday.”_

_Noctis blinks, “Luna? I didn’t expect you to open the door.”_

_An incredulous look overwhelms her calm expression, “Really? Who were you expecting?”_

_“Ravus?” Noctis doesn’t mean to sound disrespectful, but it is Ravus’s office._

_“Ravus?” Luna asks in confusion. “Ravus isn’t here, didn’t he tell you?”_

_No, Noctis thinks. Ravus hasn’t told Noctis anything since he asked him to leave. He supposes it’s fair. Why would you tell the man that’s just been getting in your way where you’re going?_

_“What was he supposed to tell me?” Noctis avoids her gaze. She’s prodding into his thoughts._

_Lunafreya closes the office door behind her, and turns Noctis around, “He’s in Niflheim right now. He’ll be back tomorrow if you wish to wait. I’m sure he’d be delighted to see you. It’s been such a long time since your last visit. He’s been…” she pauses as her eyes meet his. “In all honesty, he’s been rather… depressed I guess. He’s very solemn now. I think he misses you.”_

_Noctis snorts, “Yeah, sure.”_

_A blonde eyebrow pops up confused, “Did something happen between you two?”_

_Noctis shrugs, “We just didn’t agree on business the last time I was here.”_

_Folding her arms, Luna stops walking, “Noctis, you and Ravus—”_

_“Ravus and I what?” Noctis snaps unintentionally._

_“I know that you are very close,” she begins slowly noticing his agitation._

_“We’re just friends,” Noctis says quickly. “I don’t even know if we’re that anymore to be honest.”_

_Luna sighs. Quietly, she leads him to a table in the castle gardens. Pryna and Umbra make their way over and greet Noctis. He smiles at them, a nice breather from his rather dreary mood. Whilst not back to it’s former glory, it’s true that Tenebrae has been recovering well. It’s regained much of its colors, much of its vibrancy in both the people and the general atmosphere. Taking in a deep breath, he notes Luna’s eyes watching him carefully._

_“Hm?” he hums as he pets Umbra._

_“Ravus still considers you a friend,” she begins. “There are very few he does consider so.”_

_Noctis scowls, “You don’t know—”_

_“Maybe not,” Luna admits softly. “But I think he would have been more vocal about it if that was the case. Though, I really do stand by my belief that he does miss your constant presence in his office.”_

_Noctis buries his face in Umbra’s fur to hide his embarrassment. He didn’t go there that often did he? The only people to know about their relationship—or what they were—are his friends and his father. Unless Ravus finally decided to tell someone else, which was highly unlikely given how their last conversation ended._

_“Well,” Luna giggles softly as Umbra sloppily licks Noctis’s red face. “He’ll be back tomorrow, you can talk to him then.”_

_“Why did he go to Niflheim?” Noctis tries to keep the attention away from him._

_Umbra returns to Luna, she sighs softly, “I don’t really know.”_

_The prince blinks slowly, “You don’t know?”_

_Luna shakes her head, “He didn’t say. Ravus looked… he looked a little somber.”_

_“Oh…”_

_“He looked exhausted, to be honest,” Luna looks towards the sky “He might be working something out with the new council in Niflheim. I don’t know why else he would be there.”_

_Noctis bites his lip, “I’m sure it’s simply because he’s overworking himself again.”_

_“Probably.”_

_When Ravus came back, there was no denying that he was truly exhausted. His face was lined with stress and a strain that didn’t belong on his face. He doesn’t recognize Noctis’s presence at first and resumes working in his office. Luna doesn’t hesitate to rush through his doors and scold him._

_“Ravus, you need to rest_ now _,” Luna stops in front his desks, hands folded in front of her. Noctis slowly makes his way into the office._

_Ravus looks up at her with an impatience Noctis has never seen him have for Luna, “I have things to do.”_

_Luna huffs, glances over her shoulder at Noctis and her gaze softens briefly as she notices his hesitance, “I think there’s someone who needs to talk to you.”_

_That’s when beautiful mismatched eyes finally fall on Noctis’s figure. They widen slightly, and Noctis almosts laughs at his shock. Almost. If he didn’t feel as if the tension in this room would only get worse if he did, he would laugh at Ravus’s obliviousness._

_“Hey,” Noctis swallows. “Hey, Ravus.”_

_“Noctis,” and he’s almost sounds like his breath was sapped away from him. “Forgive me, had I known you were there. I…”_

_“It’s fine,” Noctis draws closer as Luna subtly beckons him._

_“Be nice, brother,” Luna says eying him with concern. “Take care of him, Noctis.”_

_The raven head can only nod as he watches Luna shut the doors behind her. What did she expect him to do? Scold like she did? Ravus barely listens to him when he’s in a good mood._

_“How have you been?” Ravus speaks through a sigh. Though his eyes have suddenly found his papers to be more important once again._

_“I…”_ have been better, _Noctis almost says. But he knows Ravus understands the connotation of those words, “I’m preparing to take the crown from my father.”_

_Ravus sets his pen down and scans Noctis, “Really? So soon? Your father… is he?”_

_“He’s fine,” Noctis quickly waves away the idea. “It’s just… the ring is really wearing him down. I think… with everything we went through, I’m finally ready.”_

_There’s a hum that fills the room. A white noise that fills Noctis’s ears as he tries to hide the tension building between them. The words that haven’t been said but are being implied. The questions that need answering and the answers that need responses. Noctis is afraid for all of them, but he doesn’t know if he should keep dancing around it until Ravus consults it, or if he should dive head on._

_Neither of the two are appealing options._

_“A lot has happened in the four months you’ve been gone then,” Ravus replies instead. “I suppose that makes sense. You’ve been busy.”_

_“Well,” the prince tries his hardest to hold eye contact, but it always feels like Ravus is piercing through him with his eyes. An intimidating stare he acquired as commander of Niflheim, one that softened around the young prince after all the events that transpired. After the world went back to peace and the chancellor was taken care of, Ravus lost some of his callousness, though it took time. But looking at the older man, who Noctis won’t deny that he loves so dearly, it seems as if all that hard work to soften him up has faded._

_“Well?” Ravus points to a seat, “You don’t have to stand Noct.”_

_“I…” Noctis pauses and sits without protest, the nickname catching him off guard. No, fighting Ravus over whether or not he desired to sit was not important. “That was… one reason.”_

_Carefully standing from his seat, Ravus goes over to the side of his room and begins preparing a pot of tea, “I can see this is going to be a long conversation.”_

_“Perhaps,” Noctis chuckles slightly, though it’s much sadder than he’s used to hearing from himself. “Though, I don’t think the tea will be strong enough for this.”_

_A blond eyebrow pops up as a purple eye glances over at Noctis. Slowly, a small smile creeps up on Ravus’s face, and a hint of his old self returns._

_“I think it may be best for the both of us to remain sober,” Ravus suggests the smile not fading. “I have no desire to do something… I may regret.”_

_And there was something hidden in between the lines of Ravus’s statement, but Noctis was too transfixed on the way Ravus seemed to favor his left side. Noctis was too transfixed on the exhaustion that was truly pouring through Ravus’s body. Noctis was too concerned with Ravus to focus on anything beyond that._

_Yet, said man catches him staring, “Stop. I’m fine.”_

_“If you knew what I was thinking, then you must be aware of how not fine you are,” Noctis unintentionally hisses. It’s that moment where Noctis is afraid that he might have ruined this whole meeting, but Ravus doesn’t comment on it. Simply reseats himself in front of Noctis and stares at him silently._

_“I appreciate the concern,” Ravus states quietly. “But there’s nothing I can do.” Really, Ravus meant there was nothing any of them could do._

_“I want to help you Ravus,” Noctis grips the armrest, “I care about you, I do. I never stopped.”_

_“And I appreciate that,” Ravus says quickly. It was his way of trying to shut down the conversation but Noctis wasn’t done. He wouldn’t be for a while until they reached a general consensus of where they were going from here._

_“If you know that,” Noctis’s voice begins to raise and the humming in his ears seems to dull if only slightly. “If you know that, then let Luna or I help you. Ravus, none of us—especially me—want something to happen to you. So just… at least tell me what’s bothering you.”_

_“There’s nothing—”_

_The doors rush open and Ravus sighs._

_“Milord,” the man says cautiously, obviously feeling the tension in the room._

_“What is it?”_

_“You’re needed in the council room. There was something about Niflheim that needs discussing.”_

_Ravus quirks an eyebrow, “Has a messenger come?”_

_The man nods quickly, and Ravus glances at Noctis. There’s a weary expression and a hint of an apology, but he excuses himself and leaves. Noctis stares at the pot, still boiling. The whistle of it filling his ears. Left alone._

_And just like that, he’s forgotten as well._

_—_

_It’s Ravus who visits the next time. Instead of Noctis making the trip to Tenebrae, Ravus comes himself. It’s for business, Noctis knows this. He’s to become accustomed to the transition of power, from Regis to Noctis, and settle any major things with Niflheim before handing everything over to Noctis. It’s a month after their last meeting, but Ravus seems so much lesser than before._

_He doesn’t even notice Noctis as he walks by him._

_“I’m worried about Ravus,” Noctis admits to Prompto._

_The blond snorts, “You always are, Noct.”_

_“No, I mean it,” Noctis repeats. “I’m worried about him. He’s… he doesn’t look good.”_

_His friend sits back in his chair glancing up from his camera. Carefully, he roams his eyes over the nervous prince._

_“Didn’t you talk to him about this?” Prompto asks in slight confusion. “I thought you got this cleared up?”_

_“No,” Noctis feels so exhausted. “I tried, but he left for an urgent council meeting or whatever.”_

_Prompto shakes his head, “You guys need to work this out.”_

_“I know.”_

_It takes a bit more courage than Noctis would like to admit to knock on the room that Ravus is staying in. The answer isn’t immediate. In fact, Noctis stays outside of the door for five minutes before he hears the footsteps behind him. The ones that sound oddly familiar._

_“And what do we have here?” the amusement in his voice makes Noctis feel a little less nervous, but incredibly embarrassed._

_“Uh, hey,” Noctis coughs awkwardly._

_Ravus folds his arms with a small smirk on his face, but he looks so uncomfortable, “Hello.”_

_Noctis matches his expression trying to ease his worry, “It’s been a bit.”_

_“It has.”_

_“Can we talk?”_

_Ravus pauses. Looks at the time briefly, then back at Noctis with a harder expression, “Of course.”_

_The atmosphere is oddly similar to their last meeting a month ago. A long string of silence ricocheting between them. Other sounds fill the air more than usual, things Noctis doesn’t usually hear, but seem so overwhelmingly loud._

_“Are you alright?” Ravus begins. “It’s been some time.”_

_“It has,” Noctis nods. “I…”_ Missed you _, but Noctis couldn’t bring himself to say it so boldly. “I’ve been busy, ya’ know? The transition is coming soon, so I have to be prepared.”_

_Ravus nods, “I know.”_

_“Are you going to take the throne soon?” Noctis asks carefully knowing that’s been a topic of conversation between Ravus and Luna for a while._

_There’s a pause, “Lunafreya is going to take the throne.”_

_Noctis gasps unintentionally, “W-wait, seriously?”_

_Ravus glances up at Noctis, “Why do you sound surprised?”_

_“I thought… I was sure you would?” Noctis stutters. “Why… aren’t you?”_

_“She’s the Oracle.”_

_It was a simple, concise answer. One that left so many questions. It was true that Luna was the Oracle, but it was also true that Ravus wasn’t powerless. Though the males in the royal family of Tenebrae weren’t gifted the powers of the Oracle, they had their own abilities._

_Mismatched eyes stare critically at Noctis, “Were you expecting otherwise?”_

_“Yes,” Noctis admits bluntly. “Since… I don’t know…”_

_“I have my hands full with Niflheim,” Ravus says plainly. “Lunafreya has been working hard with Tenebrae as of late.” Another pause overcomes Ravus as he seems to be thinking again, “She would be a better ruler than I anyway.”_

_The air feels eerily cold. Noctis doesn’t really know what to say to that. Ravus wouldn’t be a bad ruler. No, in fact, he would probably be brilliant. There’s no denying Luna’s abilities either. She would be a wonderfully, peaceful ruler. Yet, she had mentioned multiple times that she had planned on ruling alongside Ravus. Both of them sharing the throne. And here, Ravus seems keen on handing all of it to Luna and only worrying about Niflheim._

_“You’ll be a great ruler, Ravus,” Noctis says a little heated._

_Ravus smiles slightly and shakes his head, “I won’t be what Tenebrae needs. The Oracle inspires peace. I do not.”_

_“What makes you say that?”_

_“I was High Commander of Niflheim for a long time,” Ravus begins. “And to some of the people of Tenebrae, working my way up the ranks of the Niflheim army was one of the biggest betrayals.”_

_And it made sense. They had thought their prince betrayed them. The people only saw him as the commander who helped the people who stole their country ruin others. It couldn’t be more wrong of an assumption, but of course no one knows that. Ravus never made an attempt to clear it up._

_So it must’ve seemed normal for Ravus to work so closely to restore Niflheim. In their eyes, that’s where his loyalty is now. With the people that ruined them several years ago, they don’t realize how much Niflheim ruined Ravus. They don’t know the amount of pain he went through resisting them only to cave in to protect Luna. His last “light.”_

_“You never told them—”_

_“Is there a need?” Ravus looks impassively at Noctis._

_“_ Yes _,” Noctis replies sharply. “Yes, there was because the people now don’t know who you are! They don’t know anything about you.”_

_“And perhaps that is for the best.”_

_It takes every bone, every muscle, every inch of his core to not attempt to punch Ravus for this. This doubt, there’s no reason for it. This attitude, it’s frustrating. If Ravus didn’t look so ill, Noctis might have lost to his urge. But he took the time to evaluate Ravus, and he begins to wonder how much this idea has been eating away at him._

_“Is this why you look sick?” Noctis mutters quietly. “Because of the stress of who’s next in line? Because of the weight of people’s blame? Because you feel the need to make up for something you had no hand in?”_

_“The role I played was not small,” Ravus doesn’t deny any of the other accusations. “I tried to_ kill _you, Noctis.”_

_The prince shakes his head, “There was so much going on Ravus. But you saved my father… you helped Nyx escape with Luna and accepted that punishment. You were dealing with the daemons inside of the MagiTek arm. Ravus you lost your arm protecting them...” His blue eyes glance at the arm still fixated on Ravus’s form. The only thing currently keeping him alive. It makes him wonder if that’s failing him now. If the fall of Niflheim may have cost Ravus his life as now the source of that power is seemingly gone for good. They had yet to find a replacement for the arm. They had yet to find anything that would help support his heart after the burns had a deeper effect on him than what the surface showed._

_Noctis had seen. Noctis had seen it so many times when they had gone to bed and the scars on Ravus’s back outlined his very life in Niflheim. The story so cruel and disheartening, Noctis wanted to put it all on himself. But he already had a scar of his own, the one on his back in which Ravus had once told him the same._

_“_ If I could take that pain away from you I would _,” he had said._

_Noctis doesn’t understand how a man could be so selfless. Looking at the man before him, he’s beginning to realize that maybe it’s the guilt that makes a meal out of him that has changed him so._

_“Ravus,” Noctis begins when the said man makes no attempt to even reply. Slowly, he takes Ravus’s hand in his own, staring the man straight in the face, something he has been having difficulty doing. “You need to be kinder to yourself. You’re not a bad person. You never were. I fell in love with you for a reason.”_

_The confession came easier than Noctis anticipated it to be. Ravus takes a deep breath, a look of unspoken relief on his countenance and Noctis wonders how many times he had been asking the same questions Noctis had._

_“I—”_

_Ravus’s lips are soft and only slightly chapped, which Noctis assumes is neglect for his own personal health, but the kiss is still just the same. Passionate with a deep longing. The kiss deepening as Ravus gathers himself from Noctis’s sudden actions. Noctis pulls Ravus closer to him until they break only for air. Their foreheads touching, their unspoken words from five months seem to escape them in the emotions they share._

_“Please,” Noctis pleads. “I love you. I never stopped.”_

_Ravus reconnects their lips, too lost to continue his own thoughts._

—

“I should have realized then that something was off,” Noctis muses. “I was so close to figuring it out Ravus.” The king stares at the documents from Niflheim. The research on different mechanical arms for himself. The contact he made with Cid and Cindy to try and figure something out. The different people he spoke to see if they had any information on the MagiTek arm that was keeping him alive.

But all that information died with the chancellor and all the Niflheim officials. None of them survived, so none of that history remains. No one knows how Niflheim did what they did. Even if they did, the ability to recreate it seemed nearly impossible. There were no more demons.

Looking at it now, it seems so cruel that Ravus sacrificed his own life because no one knew. Luna wasn’t made aware of it until it was too late.

And then…

Noctis shakes the thought out of his head.

“I’m so sorry.”

—

“What will you do with Niflheim now?” Noctis asks the soon-to-be queen of Tenebrae.

“Well…” Luna pauses as she looks out the window. “We will have to have someone temporarily watch over it until the empire can return to its feet. I will be handling their affairs for now.” She pauses and her crystalline eyes scan the kingdom, “I hadn’t realized how much he was doing with Niflheim. He never talked about it. It was his own little project I suppose. Something he felt only he could do.”

Noctis shakes his head, “It was the only thing he felt he could do.” Luna scrunches up her face at the statement.

“That is not true.”

“It’s what he thought.”

“That cannot be.”

Ravus never told her, Noctis realizes. He always did see the more vulnerable side of the man Tenebrae seemed to fear until they lost him and realized how great he truly was. Ravus was always a man who favored solitude, even before the fall. The time in Niflheim simply caused him to become almost desensitized. Heartless. That was only if you didn’t know who he was.

Even with Noctis, he seemed to hold the then-prince at a distance, but it was the shortest distance out of all the people he ever knew, even Luna. It felt wrong to think that Ravus didn’t trust his sister with this information, yet he trusted Noctis, who he was newly bringing into his life, with almost everything.

He supposes that’s why they were very much in love.

Yet, they never got a step further than constant confessions of their feelings, kissing, and the occasional nights together. It pained Noctis, but it was true.

Ravus had intended a grander future for them if he ever found something to help him, Luna insists. But Noctis blames himself, he wasn’t there when Ravus needed him most.

It’s guilt Noctis will carry to his grave.

—

_“You’re really… you’re really important to me Ravus,” Noctis swallows. He’s never confessed before but it seems far worse than he had imagined._

_In front of him is a shocked, stilled Ravus uncertain of how to respond to the words Noctis is inelegantly spilling. The prince of Tenebrae makes no move, utters no sound, but silently stares at Noctis in a fit of what seems like fear._

_Ravus, he figures, has never been in this situation either. At least, most likely, not with another prince. At least, most likely, not someone he had considered such a close friend._

_Noctis continues trying not to stutter, “I know that this may seem out of the blue, but I mean it when I say that you make me feel… alive. I feel safer by your side and I enjoy my time by you more than anything.”_

_The said man continues to remain silent, his paperwork forgotten._

_“I… I feel as if love may be a strong word,” Noctis says carefully. “But I definitely know that I feel something close to that with you.”_

_Gods he was awkward. Gods he was cringey. And by the gods, Ravus looked like he was going to run out of the room. It takes a lot to make Ravus lose his ungodly composure, and this must take the cake as Ravus stares._

_And by the gods, it could only be Ravus who gives such a disassociated response that Noctis feels his embarrassment skyrocket, and his confession seemingly nothing more than words to the man who states a simple, “I see.”_

_Noctis panics, but he doesn’t let it show. Instead he just stands there looking everywhere but at Ravus, as the prince of Tenebrae seems more at a loss than ever before. Though, slowly, the silence begins to become too much and the anxiety grows to strong. Noctis doesn’t know whether to just stand his ground or leave._

_“I see,” Ravus repeats. Then, it seems, Ravus sees very well Noctis’s embarrassment. “Well, thank you, I suppose?” Noctis knew Ravus wanted to pose that as a firm statement, but it came out more as a question. Whether or not Ravus was bothered by that inability to control his voice, the man showed nothing._

_Absolutely nothing. The look of shock seemingly faded in seconds, and Ravus peers at Noctis with curious eyes. As if prodding Noctis to figure out what to do next. But it shouldn’t be his move next. Ravus is supposed to respond or tell him to give him sometime, or_ _—_

_“Lord Ravus,” there’s a knock on the door and the silence and tension is broken. “You are needed in the council room. Lady Lunafreya has requested your presence immediately.”_

_“I see,” Ravus seems to be able to say nothing more. Ravus excuses himself with only a nod, no words. Noctis is left in the room, the light through the windows blinding his eyes and hiding his tears._

_They both, decidedly ignore that event for several weeks. Neither of them really have the energy to take on such a serious discussion._

_It wasn’t out of nowhere, Noctis’s confession. In fact, there were many hints towards Noctis’s feelings for the man that he had suggested. Looking on it now, he supposes Ravus is just too dense to understand that unless you say up front._

_Or maybe Niflheim did that to him._

_Yet, something softened in Ravus after that day. They were seemingly closer. Better friends, but nothing more than that. Noctis couldn’t assume anything about Ravus because he was so impossible to read, but it was obvious—to Noctis—that Ravus felt bad for him._

_Noctis didn’t want sympathy. He just wanted an answer._

_However, it isn’t Noctis who brings up the confession once more. Ravus stops him from leaving after one of their many conferences over the damage in Lucis, Tenebrae, and Niflheim. Though, it was a hesitant request for Noctis to stay, the tone of his voice was enough to convince Noctis to turn back around._

_“Your confession the other day,” Ravus says avoiding Noctis’s now panicked eyes. “My apologies for my reaction—I wasn’t expecting it from you.”_

Of all people _, seemed to be hanging off that statement, but Noctis wasn’t going to prod it if he might get an answer._

_“I never considered admitting my feelings to anyone, so I supposed I was a little bit relieved,” Ravus continues and Noctis’s mouth drops at the admittance though he quickly tries to pull it back together. It was subtle, and only if you actually listened to the connotation of those words could you realize that he meant to confess to the prince of Lucis. “So my apologies if my reaction seemed...stunted. I suppose my time in Niflheim had a hand in that.”_

_“Ravus, I…”_ know, _but Noctis wasn’t going to say it. Ravus didn’t need to be told what people knew about his experiences in Niflheim and what they didn’t. It isn’t anyone’s business besides his own._

_“If you meant those words,” the light haired man seems a little distant—the detachment from his feelings finally catching up with him. “Then, I suppose I can admit it as well,” his eyes flicker to hold Noctis’s gaze. “You’re very important to me as well—a different importance than anyone else.”_

_And though Ravus was detached from his feelings, he has had two years to slowly begin to allow himself to feel human again. He’s slowly allowing himself to feel more in touch with himself. There’s no reason for a defensive guard like that anymore. The prince of Lucis can watch as Ravus slowly takes down his barriers._

_Even if it’s only for him, and Noctis wouldn’t change anyway._

_Because it’s those moments when he drops the barrier where Noctis can see the scars that line Ravus’s back by a permanent hand Noctis will never forget. But it takes Noctis to remind himself and Ravus when the nights are bad, that they’re gone. They aren’t coming back. They won’t lay a hand on Ravus anymore._

_They can be together in peace._

—

Noctis’s eyes slowly open,

A soft light drifts in and he realizes that he fell asleep in Ravus’s office—at least it used to be, he has to remind himself about that sometimes. How long had he been out? Lunafreya hasn’t come to wake him yet, so he supposes it hasn’t been that long. Slowly, Noctis sits up from the couch he had passed out on and stares at the room around him.

It’s so familiar. Now, it’s such a distant memory of better times. The laughter that filled the room, often at Noctis’s expense. The words exchanged. The feelings developed. His heart clenches at the thought, but it doesn’t hurt as much. He supposes he’s beginning to come to terms with everything that transpired.

It’s an eery sense of comfort. Coming to terms with it has been seemingly the most difficult part of it. Mostly because the guilt had been tearing him apart for the past month, nearly two. He has to return to Lucis soon. His people need him. He needed some peace in mind, and the king now feels… relief. A sense of happiness and solace he hasn’t felt in what feels like so long flows through him and Noctis takes a deep, much needed breath.

“ _It will be okay_.”

“You’re right,” Noctis breathes again. “I’ll get there.”

—

_“Ravus?” Noctis whispers softly into the night. Ravus stirs slightly; his eyes flickering open. He rubs his eyes gently._

_“What is it? You’re still awake?” Ravus asks softly._

_Noctis presses himself closer to Ravus, “Yeah.”_

_“What’s wrong?” Ravus whispers into Noctis’s hair. “What has gotten you so worked up?”_

_Noctis presses a soft kiss against Ravus’s chest, “I just…”_

_Ravus wraps his arms around Noctis’s body pulling him closer, “I can’t read your mind.”_

_“My father isn’t doing so well,” Noctis finally admits. Ravus’s arms tense around Noctis’s body. “They’re trying to push me towards being king sooner than planned.”_

_Ravus continues to remain silent, urging Noctis to continue his train of thought, knowing clearly that Noctis isn’t done. He is well aware that there is more keeping him up at night_ — _to the point that Noctis woke him._

_“I love you,” Noctis continues instead._

_“Noct,” Ravus insists._

_Noctis presses further into Ravus’s embrace, “Ravus, we had a scare. Dad has never been that bad before… but I don’t know if I’m ready to take over.”_

_Ravus only comforts Noctis further the tears stream down Noctis’s face. A silent sob escapes him and Ravus seemingly knows without a doubt that Noctis doesn’t need words right now, but just his reassurance._

_“When I saw him,” Noctis rasps. “It reminded me of when I saw you that day… Unconscious… not_ — _”_

_“Stop, I’m okay, I’m alive and he’s alive,” Ravus says though it’s not nearly as firm of a statement as Noctis would like. It doesn’t ground him the way he would like it to, but it gives him a slight confidence boost. “You will be a fine king. You will excel in all ways possible and your father will be there and be proud.”_

_“Ravus, I_ — _”_

_“And I will be there too,” Ravus continues. “I will help you when you need me. I will support you when you ask me to. I won’t let you fall even if you feel like you might.”_

_It was rare for Ravus to speak so openly about his feelings, but there is always something so raw between them at nights. So often, they would just speak with no boundaries and tell each other everything they felt. For that, for everything that encompassed their relationship, Noctis is_ so _grateful for._

_“Thank you, Ravus,” Noctis mutters as he moves up to plant a kiss on Ravus’s lips. Ravus loosens his grip, if only temporarily, to allow Noctis that movement before they settle into a restful embrace. “And you’ll let me help you too when you need me right?”_

_“Of course,” Ravus admits, “I need you as well. I wouldn’t be here without you.”_

_The blood rushes to Noctis’s face as those words leave his lover’s lips._

_“You’re important to me Noctis,” Ravus presses a light kiss on Noctis’s forehead and cups Noctis’s cheek making him look up at him. “And I’m sorry that I don’t say this enough. I’m… I’m trying…”_

_“I know,” Noctis whispers. “I know you have so much you’re trying to do Ravus. I know. Thank you for being with me.”_

_“You will make an excellent king with or without me,” Ravus smiles softly._

_Noctis kisses Ravus again, “I hope it’ll only be with me.”_

_The soon-to-be king knows that Ravus will say something that they both don’t need to hear tonight. All Noctis needs is him_ — _and Ravus doesn’t resist the passionate kiss when Noctis halts him as soon as he opens up his mouth. Ravus deepens the kiss and the desire to just be in each other’s arm for the rest of their days is so welcoming._

And yet that future faded.

It faded, but the ringing in his hears that came along with that dreaded call resonates throughout his mind still.

—

_“Noctis?” Luna’s voice comes through panicked and Noctis tries his best to remain calm for her._

_“Luna? Luna, what is it?” Noctis asks softly, the concern can’t be hidden._

_Luna isn’t any calmer, “Please,_ please _come to Tenebrae. It’s an emergency.”_

_“Oh gods, what happened?” Noctis can’t hide his own fear now. His heart feels like it’ll explode any second._

_“Ravus… Ravus is…”_

_That was enough to send Noctis on his way, trying to find a chance to escape. Yet, it seemed like everything was against him as soon as the call for help was sent to him. His father, frustrated with Noctis’s lack of focus as he soon becomes the new king, is the first to ask why Noctis is so agitated._

_“Ravus_ needs _me,” Noctis says. It almost comes out as a beg. A beg to let him go to Tenebrae and see what’s wrong with Ravus._

_“Surely it can wait,” Regis claims, but there’s hesitation in his voice. He knows Ravus never calls upon Noctis or any of them unless it is an emergency._

_Noctis fervently shakes his head, “It can’t. It really can’t. Luna called me. She told me that I needed to go to Tenebrae.”_

_The lines in Regis’s forehead deepens, “What happened?”_

_“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” and the soon-to-be king is trying his best to keep his composure, to not yell at his father in frustration at holding him back. “Please.”_

_“Then go my son.”_

_It’s these moments where he loves his father more than anything in the world. It takes the prince all of a few hours to make it to Tenebrae_ — _too long for Noctis. He fears the worse, and his hearts sinks when he sees Lunafreya’s heartbroken expression._

_“I didn’t know if you would come,” she says, her voice shakes only slightly._

_Noctis looks past her, “Of course I would. I had too. Now… Ravus, is he?”_

_“Let me take you to him.”_

_The kingdom is busy. People are running all over the place, but he notices the amount of medics and healers he has passed is bigger than ever before. Is it so severe that nearly every healer in the land of Tenebrae is needed to aid the prince? Is it so threatening that not even Luna can do something?_

_“He’s in his room, I’m uncertain if he’s awake or not, but…” Luna pauses as she stares at the floor. “Please, don’t be too shocked when you see him.”_

_“Oh gods, Luna, what happened?” Noctis can’t hide the fear anymore._

_“We’re uncertain,” Luna admits slowly turning the handle. “But my powers have done very little to heal him. I don’t know how he reached this severe of a condition, but… we’re doing all we can. I think he could use your support.”_

_And there’s a part of Noctis that wonders if Ravus might have slipped out their previous relationship. One they have yet to fully rekindle, but were on the way of doing so._

_“I’m ready,” Noctis isn’t, but he can’t wait in suspense like this any longer._

_Luna only nods and opens the door to Ravus’s room. On the bed before them lies Ravus. Unmoving. Noiseless. The room, so terribly quiet, it hurts Noctis. Slowly, the young prince walks towards the man and it’s then that he sees the severity of the damage._

_Noctis slowly takes his hand as he stares at the pale, taut face. Too pale, too taut, nothing like the Ravus he had been seeing. The shadows under his eyes make his face even more gaunt. Never has he seen Ravus so thin, and maybe that’s why he has refused everything Noctis had suggested that could even lead to the young prince finding out about his weight loss._

_Ravus’s health is failing him, and Noctis has seen it all this time, but never once forced him to talk about it._

_Because he savored their relationship and feared Ravus’s anger if ever turned on him._

_“Ravus?” it comes out as a raspy whisper. “Luna, what—_ ”

_And that’s when he realized that Luna wasn’t paying attention anymore. She was talking to Maria. So Noctis returns his eyes to the ailing Ravus as the older man takes a shaky deep breath._

_“Hey?” Noctis tries to make his voice stronger, but it still just sounds so pathetic. His pale face shifts slightly and there’s a soft groan that escapes Ravus’s lips. The young prince gently grips Ravus’s hand tighter, a slight plead for him to open his eyes._

_And Ravus responds slowly, turning his head carefully. His eyes open slower.and they flutter a bit before they stare straight ahead. There is no focus. They just stare for a moment before Noctis’ calls out to him again. It’s then, that Ravus turns and makes eye contact with Noctis. However, it’s a few more seconds before they even register who is standing by his side._

_“Noct….?” Ravus’s voice is a horrible mix of exhaustion and sickness._

_“Ravus,” Noctis mutters so softly, he’s uncertain if the other heard him. But those beautiful mismatched eyes eventually regain focus with Noctis’s worried ones and Ravus’s expression softens._

_“You came,” Ravus gasps. “I’m happy to see you.”_

_“Of course I would… Ravus, what’s happening?” Noctis gently caresses Ravus’s cheek. The sick prince pushes into Noctis’s touch and remains quiet for a bit._

_“My apologies,” he says eventually. “I thought there might have been a chance.”_

A chance for something more, Noctis supposes. Lunafreya stares at the pictures they had found in the box in Ravus’s office. Noctis knew he had sent these to Ravus, but he didn’t know that he actually kept them. Neither of them knew that.

“I saw you with him,” Luna suddenly says softly. “When you first saw him and the days after, the gentle loving look in your eye. The way he looked at you and didn’t pull away from your touch, you were the only one Noctis.”

“That’s how you knew?” Noctis looks up at her.

She nods with a soft smile on her face, “He was so happy with you Noctis, don’t think otherwise.”

“I… thank you, Luna,” Noctis says feeling a warmth in his chest.

“Are you going to return soon?”

“Yes,” Noctis replies. “I’m… I’m feeling better. Thank you.”

Luna releases a soft laugh, “At least stay for dinner.”

“Certainly.”

Ignis, Prompto, and Gladio make their way over that night as well to make it easier to take Noctis back to the kingdom. Ignis gives him a brief debrief of what has been transpiring in Lucis since he’s been gone, but it has been nothing too severe. It makes the dinner a lot less stressful, and it’s Gladio who points out that Noctis isn’t nearly as solemn as he used to be. It’s Prompto that points out that Tenebrae is in much better shape. It’s Ignis who points out that Noctis and Luna seem to have both made peace.

Yes, Noctis is getting there. He stares at the door to Ravus’s room post dinner. It’s the one room he has yet to look in. The one where Ravus perished—Noctis never found the strength to go inside of there. But it’s time to, because if he doesn’t, he won’t come to terms with it. He won’t be able to go back when he didn’t return to the one room he made the point to see.

_“Noctis,” Ravus’s voice is barely above a whisper. “I love you…”_

_“Ravus, Ravus, please hang in there,” Noctis begs. Begs to his lover. Begs to the Six. Begs to anyone who can hear his pleas._

_How foolish were they to believe that if the Accursed was gone, the Scourge cured, that the prosthetic filled with demons would manage to keep Ravus alive when all of them had been purged? Sure, it took nearly ten years, but only ten years is not nearly enough._

_Why did they think everything would be fine? They should have been more careful. Noctis should’ve read those notes that Ravus was always working so feverishly on when he had the chance._

_“Please,” Noctis grips Ravus’s hand tighter and his grows weaker. “I need you. You said you’d be by my side when I became king.”_

_But Noctis had also stopped Ravus from continuing to speak because of his fear of what Ravus would say._

_Noctis felt like he was 20 again. The first time they met after 12 years. He feels so young and useless. Sure, he might have been able to save the world with the help of his friends_ — _but it was Ravus’s sacrifices as well that lead to their victory. He always needed others to be with him, and this is no different. He needs Ravus. After eight years of their relationship, Ravus can’t leave him like this._

_“Ravus, keep your eyes open,” Noctis continues to plead. “Luna will be here soon to try to help you.”_

_Ravus doesn’t respond to that, instead, he speaks_ — _the pain making him babble, “I had plans if I…” he fades for a second. “There were things I wanted to do, Noctis. But I had plans for this too...I knew there was a higher chance of this happening than anything else.”_

_“Ravus, please, save your breath,” Noctis brushes the hair plastered onto his face by his sweat._

_“I...I’m sorry for everything I put you through and everything I am putting you through,” he continues through weak breaths. “I know I was...difficult, but you mean the world...to me.”_

_Noctis is trying his damndest not to cry, but it’s so hard. So damn hard…_

_“When this is over Noctis,” Ravus inhales deeply._

When the pain leaves him and Ravus fades as well. _Noctis bites his lip._

 _“There was something I intended on giving you_ — _a promise,” Ravus continues raising his flesh hand to caress Noctis’s cheek, but it just barely makes it there. Noctis holds his hand to his face. “When this is over, Noctis, take it… please.”_

_“Where?” Noctis asks so softly he can’t really hear himself. It doesn’t sound like him._

_But Ravus doesn’t answer._

_Noctis stays in Tenebrae that night. He has to, but he can’t stay in Ravus’s room because Luna insisted. If this doesn’t work, she doesn’t want him there._

_And it’s Luna who walks into the room, her eyes red, she shakes her head. When Noctis breaks down Luna hugs him to comfort him, but she ends up breaking into a sob as well and neither of the two can comprehend this loss._

_“He doesn’t have much time,” Luna says after a while. We’re going to try again tomorrow morning. “I really thought…”_

_“Please, Luna,” Noctis knows it isn’t her he should be begging to._

_“The Six can’t hear our pleas. They spare no one,” Luna mumbles._

_And oh, he’s so aware, because they did nothing when this all began. And when it ends as well. To save their saviors, and the world they created, ludicrous._

_Every man for themselves and let the gods roost._

_Noctis has to return because of important meetings in Lucis._

_But the phone rings and Noctis doesn’t stop sobbing for days._

_And the phone continues to ring and ring as he makes the trip back to Tenebrae for the funeral._

_“I’m so sorry Noctis,” Luna shouldn’t be apologizing to him, he should be saying that to her, but she already knew about them. “I’m sorry.”_

_“He’s passed.”_

_The funeral is hard and Noctis can’t show his face to the public._

_And though he says words of remembrance, it’s not all he wants to say. He can’t say everything he wants to say. But the sound of ringing and the words of a promise resonate through his brain. And he stares at the light glinting off his tombstone, but never once says his name. The light shining on it reflecting the last light Tenebrae seems to see for months._

And the shine that reflects off the golden band in his hand with the final words Ravus left for him.

 _“A promise that I will love you even when I’m gone. A promise that I will be there no matter what happens. A promise that I will never leave you. A promise that I had always wanted to marry you_ — _my original intention. And a promise that you will always be with me._

_I had never felt more alive than when I was with you._

_I’ll be there with you, as frightened as you, to help us survive being alive._

_I love you.”_

_And a tear leaves Ravus’s eye as he signs the letter. A sigh escapes his lips. The first tears that have left his eyes in over twenty years._

_He stares at the golden band, the mark of their union, the day he won’t get to see.  An apology to his heart and future, for not being able to be there._

_“It won’t be the same without you.”_

_A pause in the somber silence as he feels the energy drain from him._

_“I hope you hear me, Noctis, when I say this.”_

“I still hear you...”

_Ravus’s mismatched eyes look out the window of his bedroom the sun setting before him glinting off the beautiful ring._

_“It was meant for you.”_

_Ravus kisses the band._

_“I love you.”_

The beautiful golden band slips on his finger, “I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are much appreciated!  
> The italics are flashbacks, they kind of jump around. Sorry if it's a little confusing.  
> This started as just a flow of ideas and turned into this.  
> But I love Ravus and Noctis and I miss writing them. So here's this, my longest piece thus far (I've had another one longer, but I'm not satisfied with it, I just threw this out there). 
> 
> Thank you for reading and sorry I'm so sporadic with uploads school is kicking my butt and I'm struggling a bit with my other pieces.


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